Keep Reaching

In February of 2013 I was inspired to write letters for my community, describing in a few words my experience and relationship with God. My intention was, and is simple–to write to people on the basis of which my heart was won: love.

In the Bible one of my favorite collection of verses is 1 Corinthians 4-8 (NIV):

^“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails…”

With this in mind, please read this. My prayer is that it will open your heart, mind, and soul to the extraordinary, endless, and scandalous love of our God, who is with you always.

Dear Neighbor,

Hello, my name is Taylor. I never used to be this guy but I want to tell you, you are loved. You are loved by our creator, our father, our savior.

I know a lot of you may disagree and it’s ok if you do but please, consider this: He’s waiting with open arms… waiting for you to come home. It’s easy to say He’s not real, to blame Him for everything wrong in this world; I know this because I did it. I think that being fearful about something you don’t fully understand is a natural tendency, it’s human nature. Hiding behind drugs, alcohol, sex, wealth, fame, pride, anger, deception–it’s all so empty. They won’t lead to answers; they won’t heal your hurting. Again, I know this through experience, through crashing and burning time and time again. Living a life without a purpose is a rudderless ship, aimless, destructive, and going nowhere. It’s a never-ending egg hunt to fill a void in hopes that it will lead us to a measure of peace and fulfillment that seems just out of reach.

I didn’t write this to start an argument, I wrote this to urge you to keep reaching, keep moving, keep hope alive. I wrote this to ultimately remind you that you are loved.

Please, have a blessed day, remind your family and friends that you love them, pour words of encouragement, integrity and honor into them. Light up their hearts. Remember that this life is a vapor, here for one moment and gone the next… so live the life you always dreamed of. It’s never too late to remove the stone and live again. Please know that I will be praying for you, I love you and most of all, God loves you.

God Bless,
Taylor

Pride and my error

The following article explains how I almost lost my job by sticking my neck out for a person who in hindsight, wasn’t ready for that sort of sacrifice.  Jesus said to give to those who ask, but the key component there is someone who is willing to humble themselves enough to ask and receive. Not everyone is ready to receive God’s blessings.

Jose worked at my parents dealership for about a year when one day he just didn’t show up. Since then, we’ve hired a few replacements who have ended up not performing well. We needed a good car washer and I felt we should give Jose a second chance.

So my dad called Jose to come, and he did. He worked one night on a specific car, and spoke to my mom that night, apparently then realizing that she would not forgive him for disappearing so easily. And again, he just didn’t show up the next day.

I’ve always got along with Jose, in fact, I never understood when people talked about his insubordination because he always did the things that I asked of him. We had a better relationship than the rest. So when he didn’t come back the next day, I wanted to encourage him to stick around. I figured he was going through some stuff.

Jose doesn’t have a car or a phone, but a few people here at the dealership decided that I should go pick him up. His dad was furious that he didn’t show up to work, but I got his address and went to his house to encourage him to come back. When I arrived, Jose was both defeated and yet prideful. It was a weird combination. He spoke of having work at a carwash that was unstable at best. I told him not to get in his own way, that if he got fired one day, to let that happen but not to cut himself short because of worries for the future. Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” It took a lot of encouragement, but he finally decided to put his pride aside, saying that the only reason he would come back was for me. This gave me a sense of responsibility where his job with us was concerned. Before we left his house, I told my dad that I was going to pick up Jose and bring him to work, to which he consented.

I felt that we needed to be there for him as an organization. In our discussions, he had mentioned that he was a believer, and I felt that it was our job as fellow believers to look after one another, if anyone at all.  If a sheep herder loses a sheep, Matthew 18:13 “And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.”

So we arrived and Jose got to work. I then entered the office and spoke to my mom saying that I think we should give Jose a chance. She sternly disagreed, saying that she prayed to God specifically in regards to Jose and basically to give her a sign. The fact that he didn’t show up that day was a significant sign to her; but, I held on to my understanding of the love that Jesus shows to people and the fact that Jesus came for people who need him most of all. According to Luke 5:32  “I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” I wanted to be there for him,  and I felt that God put this so much on my heart that I was ready to tell my mom, “If you fire him, you’re firing me.” The problem to this tactic was that I was putting myself on the line for someone who wasn’t willing to do the same. The critical part to that verse is “those who know they… need.”

Just before I put my job on the line for Jose, I came to find out that in knowing of my mother’s uncertainty towards him, he asked my father to pay him for the day and left. I realized something significant in that moment.

Jesus forgave people of their sins and cleansed their bodies of diseases, but he did not do so for everyone. Jesus showed everyone love, but forgave and cleansed people who expressed their belief in him, and who put their pride aside to ask for cleansing. These people demonstrated their faith by submitting themselves to him.

Not everyone is ready for that. Some people suffer because of their own pride. Their own ego gets in the way of the blessings that God has in store for them.

1 Peter 5:5-7 “…All of you, clothe your-selves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Do not take matters into your own hands, but leave them up to God so that he “may lift you up in due time.”

Luke 14:10 “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place….’ “

Not everyone is ready to receive God’s blessings. In Jose’s case, if he was ready to let go of his pride, I would have stuck my neck out for him; but, he just wasn’t ready.

Pain, growth, and family life transformed

This post goes over two things in particular- what happens when a person who believes in God is not fed scripture, and the incredible things that can happen to a person when applying the word of God.

My first few weeks as a Christian were incredible. I imagined myself as a tiny little sprout and realized that this period in my spiritual life was a delicate one. So I sought to keep the majority of sins out of my life, keeping disciplined in areas I’ve previously never been able to exercise control over.  This newly gained control in my life allowed my to get into the word the majority of mornings and at night to write out a devotional on paper without feeling any sort of shame for breaking promises I’ve made to God. Things were going extremely well until I took an innocent trip to mammoth with my brother, friends and their family who are basically a second family of mine.

It was a family trip; it’s not like I drank at all or did anything wrong, all that was really needed was for me to be separated from the word for a few days. Before I recommitted my life, I’ve always known that if I ever wanted to get close to God, there it was; all I had to do was open to the gospel (Matthew to John) in particular, and I would be renewed in my faith. The bible would always be a place where I could fill my spiritual cup; but, parting from it for a while is really all all it took, especially at this more delicate time in my spiritual growth.

The devil doesn’t need temptation or anything else; all he needs is time, and distractions. I was distracted for about five days up in mammoth and got back home where a lot of things had sort of hit the fan.

My dad had gone to Mexico to visit his father who was in horrible pain suffering from gangrene on both his feet. He was in his nineties and was not in a position to heal properly even if the amputation did take place. Many years had passed since my dad had last seen his own. My grandfather died a few days after my own father arrived in Mexico. Needless to say, my dad spent a few weeks in Mexico spending time with family he hadn’t seen in a long time, including my grandmother.

In the meanwhile, this was during a time when I had barely started working for my parents again. And with my father gone, there was a lot to be done. Things got crazy, absolutely crazy, and at the time, I hadn’t yet grown to the person I am today, spiritually.

My mom is an Ox. Literally she is the strongest woman I have ever met. She has been awarded woman of the year in entrepreneurship and technology by La Opinion, something like the Spanish LA Times. She has worked 7 days a week for about 25 years, spent about ten years without taking a vacation, and even worked on the same day as one of her pregnancies, having five kids in total.  Granted, I just read a letter from Columbia to that very child just yesterday. She is tough, but having worked her way into self-employment from working as a seamstress, her management style is probably tougher, and children of hers don’t get any slack at work.  In fact, my mom has very little patience for people not doing things properly and quickly. She’s also a very loving mother at the core, but that’s not the point right now. It was a tough first few weeks, to say the least.

In fact, I worked about 70 hours those first few weeks, and there were a few issues in particular that just made me incredibly disillusioned regardless of how much I wanted to help out my mom and and family. It just seemed impossible to work for my mom.

During that time, I was busy, things were crazy, and I was separated from the word. I had no spiritual nourishment, and little of the protection that it affords. I began to stumble in my walk again with certain things.  And there was one day in particular when, I just really need a drink. Worse yet, all of a sudden I began to have the worst tooth pain I’ve ever had. It was crazy.  I’ve had my wisdom teeth taken out, a root canal about a year ago, two broken noses, a dislocated clavicle and this was by far the worst. It turned out that the root canal I had about a year back was infected. I was on Vicodin and 800mg of ibuprofen, and still, the pain was unbearable. To make matters worse, I put a cup of water in the freezer and put it on my counter top before I went to bed so that I can numb my mouth in the middle of the night. One tiny grind of another tooth to the affected one would create a jarring pain that lasted for about an hour only to die down to a level of seven out of ten at best. I woke up to find that during the middle of the night, the condensation from the frozen cup of water created a pool that ruined my iPhone that sat about six inches away. This was not my best week. I went into an emergency surgery the next day to have my tooth pulled. Things became better as soon as I woke up from the laughing gas, but this was no humorous situation.

I finally made time to get back into the men’s bible study I attended and met with the guys. That night I got back into the word and learned so many things.

We need scripture. 1 Peter 2:2 “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that your have tasted that the Lord is good.” I learned that in being separated by the word of God, I was weakened spiritually. Sure, all those things could have happened to me even if I was in the word everyday, but I would have been better equipped to handle the same circumstances.

For instance, when I returned to scripture, I came a across a verse where Jesus said in Matthew 9:13 “But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.‘ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” I decided that I was going to practice applying that scripture that week. And it came in handy that very day.

I made a few errors in contracting within those last few days, that were somewhat unavoidable, and I did my best to mitigate the damage while the customers where there, nonetheless. I was getting it good from both my parents who were chastising me for my mistake. I could have defended myself saying that there was another person who started the application in the computer system on a different date and there was no way of me knowing that the date needed to be changed, but I sat back, and gave that situation to God. 1 Peter 5:6,7 “Humble yourselves, therefor, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I ended up telling my mom, yeah, you’re right mom. Something I’ve never been able to do when being reprimanded in a way that I felt didn’t matched the level of my mistake, and in an unexpected move, my mom came over and hugged me and said that it was okay. The same occurrence has come to happen with my Dad in the last few weeks; although admittedly, it did take longer with my dad. Nonetheless, I realized something in that situation. I was able to do that because of my understanding of my salvation through God’s grace.

I may stumble according to God’s law, but through Jesus Christ I am saved and have God’s favor. He will always love me. I realize that even more now that I am stronger in the spirit, and as I have become better and better having more strength not to lust after women, at the gym for instance. I’ve never had so much strength. I stumbled in a different way for the first time in a long while just two days ago and came to a profound realization of God’s grace as I am truly his child. I felt like God instantly forgave me as I am now walking in the spirit and have sincerely accepted Jesus as my savior and choose to walk and love as he did.

In the same way, there was no reason for me to argue with my parents. I made a mistake; I didn’t need to defend myself because they’re my parents and even though I made a mistake they’re still going to love me and are going to forgive me. I didn’t have to get defensive as I once did; I just needed to realize that I need to give my situations up to God.

Jesus himself said to the Sahhedrin when asked if he was the Son of God, Matthew 26:64 “Yes, it is as you say.” He didn’t bumble around saying, well, sort of, or justify, and defend himself.  All he said was, it is as you say, trusting in our Father’s greater plan. I need to continue to practice giving things up to God, and, when people accuse my of anything, to say, it is as you say.” And allow God to demonstrate how much better things are in his hands.