Pain, growth, and family life transformed

This post goes over two things in particular- what happens when a person who believes in God is not fed scripture, and the incredible things that can happen to a person when applying the word of God.

My first few weeks as a Christian were incredible. I imagined myself as a tiny little sprout and realized that this period in my spiritual life was a delicate one. So I sought to keep the majority of sins out of my life, keeping disciplined in areas I’ve previously never been able to exercise control over.  This newly gained control in my life allowed my to get into the word the majority of mornings and at night to write out a devotional on paper without feeling any sort of shame for breaking promises I’ve made to God. Things were going extremely well until I took an innocent trip to mammoth with my brother, friends and their family who are basically a second family of mine.

seed_sprout

It was a family trip; it’s not like I drank at all or did anything wrong, all that was really needed was for me to be separated from the word for a few days. Before I recommitted my life, I’ve always known that if I ever wanted to get close to God, there it was; all I had to do was open to the gospel (Matthew to John) in particular, and I would be renewed in my faith. The bible would always be a place where I could fill my spiritual cup; but, parting from it for a while is really all all it took, especially at this more delicate time in my spiritual growth.

the-riches-of-the-Bible

The devil doesn’t need temptation or anything else; all he needs is time, and distractions. I was distracted for about five days up in mammoth and got back home where a lot of things had sort of hit the fan.

My dad had gone to Mexico to visit his father who was in horrible pain suffering from gangrene on both his feet. He was in his nineties and was not in a position to heal properly even if the amputation did take place. Many years had passed since my dad had last seen his own. My grandfather died a few days after my own father arrived in Mexico. Needless to say, my dad spent a few weeks in Mexico spending time with family he hadn’t seen in a long time, including my grandmother.

In the meanwhile, this was during a time when I had barely started working for my parents again. And with my father gone, there was a lot to be done. Things got crazy, absolutely crazy, and at the time, I hadn’t yet grown to the person I am today, spiritually.

My mom is an Ox. Literally she is the strongest woman I have ever met. She has been awarded woman of the year in entrepreneurship and technology by La Opinion, something like the Spanish LA Times. She has worked 7 days a week for about 25 years, spent about ten years without taking a vacation, and even worked on the same day as one of her pregnancies, having five kids in total.  Granted, I just read a letter from Columbia to that very child just yesterday. She is tough, but having worked her way into self-employment from working as a seamstress, her management style is probably tougher, and children of hers don’t get any slack at work.  In fact, my mom has very little patience for people not doing things properly and quickly. She’s also a very loving mother at the core, but that’s not the point right now. It was a tough first few weeks, to say the least.

In fact, I worked about 70 hours those first few weeks, and there were a few issues in particular that just made me incredibly disillusioned regardless of how much I wanted to help out my mom and and family. It just seemed impossible to work for my mom.

During that time, I was busy, things were crazy, and I was separated from the word. I had no spiritual nourishment, and little of the protection that it affords. I began to stumble in my walk again with certain things.  And there was one day in particular when, I just really need a drink. Worse yet, all of a sudden I began to have the worst tooth pain I’ve ever had. It was crazy.  I’ve had my wisdom teeth taken out, a root canal about a year ago, two broken noses, a dislocated clavicle and this was by far the worst. It turned out that the root canal I had about a year back was infected. I was on Vicodin and 800mg of ibuprofen, and still, the pain was unbearable. To make matters worse, I put a cup of water in the freezer and put it on my counter top before I went to bed so that I can numb my mouth in the middle of the night. One tiny grind of another tooth to the affected one would create a jarring pain that lasted for about an hour only to die down to a level of seven out of ten at best. I woke up to find that during the middle of the night, the condensation from the frozen cup of water created a pool that ruined my iPhone that sat about six inches away. This was not my best week. I went into an emergency surgery the next day to have my tooth pulled. Things became better as soon as I woke up from the laughing gas, but this was no humorous situation.

I finally made time to get back into the men’s bible study I attended and met with the guys. That night I got back into the word and learned so many things.

We need scripture. 1 Peter 2:2 “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that your have tasted that the Lord is good.” I learned that in being separated by the word of God, I was weakened spiritually. Sure, all those things could have happened to me even if I was in the word everyday, but I would have been better equipped to handle the same circumstances.

For instance, when I returned to scripture, I came a across a verse where Jesus said in Matthew 9:13 “But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.‘ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” I decided that I was going to practice applying that scripture that week. And it came in handy that very day.

I made a few errors in contracting within those last few days, that were somewhat unavoidable, and I did my best to mitigate the damage while the customers where there, nonetheless. I was getting it good from both my parents who were chastising me for my mistake. I could have defended myself saying that there was another person who started the application in the computer system on a different date and there was no way of me knowing that the date needed to be changed, but I sat back, and gave that situation to God. 1 Peter 5:6,7 “Humble yourselves, therefor, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I ended up telling my mom, yeah, you’re right mom. Something I’ve never been able to do when being reprimanded in a way that I felt didn’t matched the level of my mistake, and in an unexpected move, my mom came over and hugged me and said that it was okay. The same occurrence has come to happen with my Dad in the last few weeks; although admittedly, it did take longer with my dad. Nonetheless, I realized something in that situation. I was able to do that because of my understanding of my salvation through God’s grace.

I may stumble according to God’s law, but through Jesus Christ I am saved and have God’s favor. He will always love me. I realize that even more now that I am stronger in the spirit, and as I have become better and better having more strength not to lust after women, at the gym for instance. I’ve never had so much strength. I stumbled in a different way for the first time in a long while just two days ago and came to a profound realization of God’s grace as I am truly his child. I felt like God instantly forgave me as I am now walking in the spirit and have sincerely accepted Jesus as my savior and choose to walk and love as he did.

In the same way, there was no reason for me to argue with my parents. I made a mistake; I didn’t need to defend myself because they’re my parents and even though I made a mistake they’re still going to love me and are going to forgive me. I didn’t have to get defensive as I once did; I just needed to realize that I need to give my situations up to God.

Jesus himself said to the Sahhedrin when asked if he was the Son of God, Matthew 26:64 “Yes, it is as you say.” He didn’t bumble around saying, well, sort of, or justify, and defend himself.  All he said was, it is as you say, trusting in our Father’s greater plan. I need to continue to practice giving things up to God, and, when people accuse my of anything, to say, it is as you say.” And allow God to demonstrate how much better things are in his hands.

2 thoughts on “Pain, growth, and family life transformed

  1. I really like your use of Matthew 9:13 here. It reminds me that it was God’s mercy that sent Jesus to the cross and fulfilled the law so we no longer sacrifice animals to atone for our sin. We go to Jesus and receive mercy!

    • I love this scripture so much because it reminds me that God wants to bless us, but in order for that to happen we need to give our lives over to him.

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